New Poem

I’m holding on tight
but everything slips out of my hands
I realize I have no control

Stupid of me
to think I could transcend my fate
Immortal I am not
I want a free soul, a free mind
cleanse the evil, the hatred,
my ego

I’m like a shaky surgeon trying to perform an autopsy on myself.
Taking me apart bit by bit, piece by piece.
Analyzing what went wrong before and deciding on a cure
Uncertainty as to what medication to prescribe
what miracle mind drug needed to cure my disease

Always searching deep but trying to stay light
my intimidating aura a proven failure for connection
trying to slay the cynicism that creeps into my brain
Maintainting an optimistic smile
Keeping hope closed in a clenched fist
wanting the rain to pass me by
to feel the divine healing of the suns evanescent glow

Reinventing, rejuvenating, reincarnating,
my soul, my heart, my faith and my journey
My only weapon, resiliency to pain
wanting to break the spell of the past that stalks me
like a ravenous beast devouring its prey.

I kick and scream, gasping for air,
while it silently tears away at my flesh,
consumes my soul
its mission to extinguish the burning fire that keeps me alive

I am a warrior, a goddess, on a quest for peace within
Fighting a battle within myself I may never win
I’m a statue, standing strong, weathering the storm
hoping to crumble and find balance
trust and harmony
to at last become one