Overboard!!!!!

Is it at all possible to be mad and proud of myself at the same time? Well I guess so because I am right now. I'm frustrated at myself because I take things to the limit sometimes. I push myself way too much and I'm way too self critical. I finished filming this weekend. Thank God! I had a blast, learned alot, but I really need to get things going in the job department before I become another statistic. Another homeless Jane out on the streets with her scruffy dog and lone guitar begging for spare change. Hopefully that will never happen. I have major PMS right now so I'm on edge. I'm in Bitch Mode! Watch out! My weekend starting with Friday went something like this. Friday: Wake at 6:45, be at work by 8:30, Lunch at 12:30, be on Daniel Island by 12:45 for job interview, back at work by 2:00, Work till 5:30, drive straight to babysit, babysit until 10:00, drive back home,pack, drive back to James Island to house sit and give a dog a shot, bed by 12:30, Saturday: Wake at 5:30am, drive to Aiken and be there by 9am, Shoot until I think it was 6:00 or 7:00 ish. Drive to Barnes and Noble to buy a play I needed, back home rehearse monolouge and song. Sunday: Film at 11:00 until 3:30, drive to Charleston and be there by 6:30 to audition for a play. In other words, Why did I even try to go to the audition? It was for "A Little Night Music" by Sondheim. I sang "Home" from Beauty and The Beast and I sucked so bad. My voice cracked like 2 times. I hate when that happens. I get so nervous that I can't control my breath and then that happens. My monolouge was awesome though. I know I rocked at that but I'm frustrated b/c I know I can sing and when I screw up I get so dissapointed. So I'm mad at myself for even attempting the audition without being 100% prepared but happy for nailing the monolouge and just being so determined to even make it to the audition.
I'm also frustrated with something else. I kinda got into a little riff with someone this weekend and I still can't figure out who was the right or wrong party in the situation. I was proud of myself for standing my ground but it was just a case of artistic difference. I never get upset with anyone but I was so irratated I didn't even know how to express what I was feeling to this person. I just kinda sat there while they made me feel like crap. The only thing I knew to do was give the silent treatment.