Can I buy Andy Milonakis?

I rock peas on my head but don't call me pea head
Bees on my head but don't call me a bee head
Bruce lees on my head but don't call me a lee head
Now please excuse me i gots to get my tree fed
You wear name brands, and i make my own clothing
I hang out with an apple who loves self-loathing
"I hate myself"
Pancake on my face, makes me extra happy
I like shampoo bottles that sit on my lappy
Cuz it my show you can't tell me what to do
When life hands me lemons i make beef stew
So yo i gotta go its time for me to rock it
I put bologna in my left pocket
Smear some cream cheese in my gold locket
Cuz its my show i'm Andy Milonakis
Its my show i'm Shmandy Shmiloshmakis
Its my Show i'm Andy Milonakis
-The Andy Milonakis Theme Song

I love this kid!! And he's not a kid. He was born in 1976. He is older than me but he looks like he is 15. When I become rich and famous I'm going to buy him so he can entertain me all day!