Life is like a dream

Music: Jamie Cullum "Singin In The Rain" (This album is awesome!!!)


Today I lived life like a dream, really. I walked around today in a trance. I felt like I was a ghost and noone could see me. It was the weirdest feeling, like I did'nt exist. My mind has been swimming in a sea of thoughts lately and today it chose to take the form of a dream like state. I've been doped up on anitbiotics for the past few days so I think it's starting to wear me down and make me crazy. So what have I been thinking about lately you ask? My purpose in life. What is my purpose on this planet? Why the hell am I here? I've been asking myself what the hell I'm doing here in Charleston? I've come to the conclusion that sweating the small stuff is trivial and that I really need to do something with my life that makes ME happy. So I'm not going to ignore my bills but I'm not going to let them take over my life either. I'm going to die someday and I personally would rather not spend my time on earth worrying about how I'm going to pay my student loans. I only get one chance in this life and I want to be a risk taker. So my impulse says to move away and continue to follow my dreams. I don't want to be a chicken shit anymore. I contradict myself on this blog all the time and I probably seem very what's the word "ambiguous"? Uncertain. But it's the truth. I am uncertain. I am confused and this just documents it. All I know is I can't do anything else. This is it. This is what I have to do so I'm just going to have to figure it out. I just saw "Elizabethtown". Good Movie! I really liked it. Films always make me think and this one really did. So I fell off the horse once, it's time to get back on old Trigger and head out west or maybe North? I'll let Trigger show me the way!